Selective mute

selective mutes are intelligent gifted people . Over the last 12 months I’ve worked very closely with three selective mutes on a one to one basis and with a group of four people two of whome are selective mute .

sometimes this condition goes hand in hand with neuro diversity , autistic spectrum , Down’s syndrome . Sometimes it’s a result of deep hurt and years of not being listened to , assumptions about your ability or intelligence . In one case I worked with a man who’d been institutionalised and treated with so little value that he’d been waiting 30 years in emotional turmoil without the tools to share what was in the depth of his mind and soul .

Solutions to selective mutism can be simple or complex . Simple permission to remain silent when you need or want to and to create a culture around you that respects that . Simple computer apps enabling text speak , simple cards to point at when words are note needed . Friendships , gestures , people who just know intuitively what you mean .

More complex solutions when I work with selective mutes from my base on Canvey island , at their location or via Skype , or venues in London , can include communication through music ( conversations via playing the piano work well ) . Art  from finger painting , to fine art , sculpture to vintage photography , build confidence , process thought and enable new forms of dialogue .

we use play , brats dolls and action men , make friends with the inner child . Find safe and comfortable and at times regressive leading to progressive methods of feeling safe and comfortable letting go of stress and anxiety ”  security blankets are metaphorical and physical , sometimes childlike and soft sometimes adult like and tough leather .

Commonly within three to six weeks I find my selective mute clients starting to use their voices as part of the journey of re exploring and re ordering their communication . The important part of my technique is choice . I don’t use behaviour modification therapy , I don’t force or manipulate , I offer tools and choice .

The tools I use with selective mutes also work well when supporting people with social  anxiety and other struggles such as eating disorder and various dysphorias .

Im lgbtqi friendly , BDSM aware , and non binary experienced .

Book life coaching art therapy and creative sessions by ringing 07786 652286

explore and book via my web site

email for an initial chat or consultation .


i offer professional chaplaincy and therapy services to the residential care sector and supported living projects in Essex and on Canvey island

Thanks for the feedback

I’ve had a great week developing art concepts for the conference and am greatful for the constructive feedback .

Its been a tough week of journey for several of  my clients as past events have interrupted there presence and threatened to cause upset .

we can’t undo the past and we can’t guarantee the future . That leaves us the massive yet worthy challenge of living in the monent.

This is an extra challenge when your living with autism , you hate unresolved and you obsesses about things .

shutdown is one consequence , meltdown another . Creating safe space , safe place and having safe people near to hand help hugely .

when you feel you are on the edge of the cliff and everybody is shouting at you to jump , to abseil down , and all you want is to be safe in your bed surrounded by velvet ….that

, that’s s one of those moments I can prepare you for .

we all deserve to be true to who we are , and live life to the full . That’s why I’m putting so much into the art for the living fully 2016 conference .


A place at the table for all

This gallery contains 21 photos.

Disabling David Enabling theology


This is A3 on card , disabling David , enabling theology …. An approach to the Vatican council for culture theology and disability conference . I’m wanting to auction it to fundraise to get disabled uk delegates to the conference . Message me bids over 100 pounds …. Or if you feel able to support the conference I can put you in touch with the organisers for more details .
It will be a humbling experience for the cardinals as worship each day will be lead by a group of people with complex intellectual difference / disability .

The conference takes place in Rome this june

Shopping Center Chaplain

imageIt’s a damp grey March day and I’m sat in my other office . Vue cinema lakeside has become a home from home. It’s comfortable chairs and tables make it the ideal venue to pause , reflect , pray and re energise myself . They also provide a wonderful meeting place to meet with and offer pastoral support to staff at all levels of this exiting shopping mall .

Over the last decade I’ve supported stressed santa’s coming off shift , security guards , managers , people on emotional rollacoasters gaining and losing jobs . Businesses relocating , starting up , winding up …. Mostly just ordinary people needing a bit of encouragement in the ordinary .

chaplaincy is faith neutral , multi faith , quite religious and proudly atheist all at once and as needed . It’s inclusive , affirming , more a listening ear than a problem solver . I enjoy being a creative sounding board .

lakeside staff looking for support can contact me on 07786 652286

or via e mail

please take time to look at my various links and see the services I can offer in both a professional and voluntary capacity .





I’ve found great joy in recent times ,reading , watching and listening to all things Sherlock Holmes , old and new .

Soul comapnion as soul detective , piecing together shared fragments of hope and experience in order to literally get to the heart of the matter and succeed at spiritual heart surgery or is that soul surgery .

ive spent the last six months exploring life through a series of art workshops with a group of people in there 50’s and 60’s with various differences and gifts . Down’s syndrome , autism etc .

weve been on a brilliant journey , painting and destroying past hurts , painting future hopes on canvas and enjoying seeing them on display . We’ve enjoyed re creating a thunderstorm with tin trays and watering cans in the kitchen of there residential home .

This amazing group understand each other , they interpret and have taught me to understand each other’s non verbal , helping me to interpret images and written words that are far from standard . The little group has lived together for nearly 30 years . They have held onto each other through traumatic experiences and now find themselves in a safe an well managed home .

I work with other non verbal clients and along side art , puppets ,play , and much crazy inventive behaviour , we use music , both listened to and created by ourselves in order to journey towards  peace with our souls . This doesn’t always mean healing in the conventional sense . It frequently means learning to love and cherish the very things about us that other people would want to fix , change , normalise .

im very exited as this summer I’m off to Rome , no mean feet for a paraplegic who has high dependency care needs. The Vatican council for culture is hosting a conference around theology and disability . They are also hosting a parallel programme for differently wired people ( what many professionals call intellectually disabled ,but I’m not happy with that term ) . I’m going to be involved with the planning and delivery of both programmes , this is a huge deal . I’m seeking prayer and sponsorship and can send full information to people on request .

As one of my big projects looks like it may run out of funding after Easter I have some openings for new regular clients . So do get in contact , be it for life coaching , spiritual direction or creative therapy , or indeed anything else I can support you with . X

Tea and a listening ear

For a retired priest and spiritual director i maybe don’t mention God as much as people would expect me to. This isn’t to do with lack of faith, in fact quite the reverse it’s due to a security and certainty. If hell is a place of torment and separation then many of us have lived in and experienced hell many times in our life. Childhood trauma and abuse, some of my darkest times are boarding school some of my friends experiences in the military, all remind us of the hideous life on this planet. By reverse the reality of heaven is about joy and the old-fashioned word Bliss means the joy of heaven. Jesus himself said, I come that you might have and enjoy life in all its fullness in abundance until it overflows. That’s what I want you to have life in all its fullness in abundance until it overflows. If you’re not having that life we have to ask why, what are you struggling with what makes life feel more like hell than heaven what we going to do about it. The expression lies damned lies sticks out for me, the soap opera type of existence were always hiding round a corner being selective with the truth and unable to come to anything with a clear heart and clear conscience.

Family life can be more dysfunctional than the relationship between Israel and Palestine long-running histories of feuding and anger and bitterness and resentment. Sometimes a simple bridge is needed to move people from where they are to wear they need to be. I’m a firm believer in sitting down with people and having a cup of tea.

I was once told that our sovereign Lady the Queen sits down each afternoon with her friends or whoever’s visiting and apparently and I’m not able to verify this she makes the tea herself she makes earl grey using malvern water and in the ritual of the making of the tea there are are various acknowledgements. first acknowledgement being you’re welcome let’s sit down and have some space and please enjoy my hospitality. the maze prison was harbouring or keeping captive or whatever the phrase should be lots of terrorists freedom fighters political prison prisoners it was a very difficult place told to live. At first the exercise yard’s were places of abuse of shouting and swearing as people from rival political factions walked alongside perimeter fences passing their enemies in another exercise ground after a time they ran out of known swear words and had to start making up her own terms of abuse, as the months and the years rolled by even that became ineffectual and then an extraordinary thing began to happen., People of opposite persuasions began to say good morning to each other again to engage in meaningful dialogue, hurts began to heal.

When under a particular political agreement many of those prisoners were released to local community, an organisation started to hold mornings with tea and biscuits and one of those mornings a man arrived to be offered hospitality around the table, as a lady offered him a cup of tea he realise that she was the mother of somebody that he had killed, she then uttered the fantastic words of forgiveness, don’t worry sit down and have cup of tea. Likewise a famous Cuban freedom fighter was assassinated. During his lifetime as well as organising much revolutionary activity he had set up a medical charity. Many years later his assassin was going blind and that charity that Che Guevara had established organised and paid for the operation to restore the assassins site. Hopefully most of your dilemmas, most of your hellish experiences fall short of these horrors, they might not. However I come back to that little phrase to have and enjoy life and life in all its fullness. As a paraplegic life coach, my life is somewhat different to the average person .

My day begins at 6 o’clock in the morning when carer arrives to sort out all sorts of personal needs, to press buttons and use hoists to lift me out of bed and take me through to my bathroom.

After all of that’s out the way I come back into a little shed, an office in my garden I stop and I pause and I communicate with the divine, meditate and I bask in presence of the knowledge of all that is bigger than me, that is more powerful than me both beyond and within. I like to listen to a recording of the previous day’s daily service on radio four long wave, at its worst it’s a parody of all the things that television comedy scriptwriters say about the Church of England and the Conservative party, at its best it’s a wonderful reminder of childhood school assemblie. S the singing of hymns the reading of parables. The Feeling of being part of a greater good that is bigger than oneself.

At this time of year when I go to my garden office it can be a little bit chilly but I want to refrain from putting the heating on, and quite like to leave the door open so the dog can run in and out. Days like today when the sun has risen the sunlight is coming into this little wooden building, I feel that I am in a simple way enjoying the foretaste of heaven in the now. As I dictate this blog entry into a clever piece of technology that will help me type it up my little dog sits on my lap, she is a pug , so she purrs like a cat and as she sits and she purrs I experience another foretaste of heaven in the now.

I live on the Thames estuary on a little place called Canvey Island and I’m blessed to enjoy the marina , the prom , the seafront and the old cafe. These things remind me of beauty and the good of the world. To stop, to see it to receive kindness and a cup of tea, somebody to listen to you somebody to explore with you.

My passionate desire to sit with you to enjoy your company to share a pot of tea and through those simple things to take you on a journey from where you are to where you could be to have and enjoy life in all its fullness. Please do contact soul companion if there is anything I can do to assist you.